DS3 Blogging

Loving Jesus

There is an interesting conversation between Jesus and Peter in John 21:15-19 (you should read it).

Often I'll ask myself the question, 'do I love this person or that person?' And if I say yes (and usually I do), I'll follow it up with the question, 'how does that person know you love them?' The second question leads into all kinds of mental conversations. Lately, I have pondered the idea that if my son (who doesn't live on earth yet) wants my permission to swim in the ocean but he doesn't know how to swim, how do I love him in that moment and will he have the capacity to interpret my 'no Derrick IV, you can't swim in the ocean' as love. Our culture tells us that true love can be discerned in a couple of hours, but we all know that life is not like that. I am resolved to the belief that true love...romantic, platonic, collegial, and otherwise can only be observed and discerned over time. So then the passage in John...

Jesus asks Peter, 'do you love me?' Of course, Peter says back, ' Yes Lord, you know I love you'. And who wouldn't say that to a man who just conquered death and had a fish breakfast right in front you? All who call themselves Christ-followers and possibly those who are inquiring about Jesus being God would join Peter in the 'Yes Lord, I love you.' So then Jesus' follow-up is that much more interesting...

For Jesus, it seems, the proof that Peter loves Him, is taking care of, feeding and tending His sheep. Does Jesus have the right to demand proof of Peter's love for Him? Aren't the words enough? Not to mention the last 3 years of life Peter lost following Jesus and the emotional trauma that Peter is still dealing with from the last week of events (Palm Sunday, Passover, Denial and Crucifixion). Hasn't that been enough proof and time to show that Peter loves Jesus?

I imagine that there is so much more hanging out in these verses. But I think the lesson is staring each one of us in the face. If you say you love Jesus, how does He know it? Who have you cared for, fed or tended with the deep understanding that it is out of and because of a love for Jesus?

PAUSE: This is the moment that some of us will be reminded of pastors and leaders who said they loved Jesus but didn't tend to our needs, care for us when needed and left of starving for discipleship and attention. That is a valid conversation, but not at this moment. It would be one thing if Peter was saying this to one of the other disciples, or if this was a letter from Paul. But this is Jesus talking to Peter, and consequently, Jesus talking to us. To deflect the question on someone else who didn't do their job is to act as if Jesus isn't asking you, 'do you love me?' This is a conversation that no matter how much church hurt you've experienced, you can't bring excuses. This is a pivotal conversation that you must have with Jesus. UNPAUSE.

So the question is before you. Do you love Jesus? How does He know it?

The beautiful thing about this passage is that Jesus is not calling Peter to answer for the past. He is actually pushing Peter into His future. 'Peter, this is how you will continue to show your love for me' in a sense. So hey...no beating yourself up over the past. His sacrifice and love for us covers a multitude of sins. With all of that in mind, how now will you live?

So again, Do you love Jesus? If you do, how will you continue to show it?

Finally, there is that looming question, 'so do I just keep pouring out...feeding, tending and caring for everyone else, even if there is no one doing that for me?' (At least that is the question I am always asking). Again, totally valid and totally loaded. We can't forget that God's love for us is actually more powerful and fueling that anyone else's on earth. You are actually stronger than you know, because of the power at work within you. Not that we don't need people, but we might need God a little more than we need people. And that often is the line that keeps many of us out of the ministry...the call to be primarily dependent on God in Christ for what we need to be who we are called to be. And in my experience, the more I trust Jesus, the more energy and strength He gives...both by the Spirit, and oddly enough, by His people.

So I encourage you to sit in Peter's seat, and allow Jesus to ask you that simply difficult question. Faith is actually leading you to have the conversation. And at that point, Jesus knows that you love Him because you were willing to have it.

Love the life you losing...

Coffee with Jesus

It took me a long time to understand the purpose of prayer...and I am still on the journey. My first memories were of my Great-Grandmother on Sunday mornings. She would start cooking breakfast and then literally get on her knees in the dining room. If I actually made it to Sunday morning breakfast (which was extremely rare), I would join her in the same position...on my knees and leaning on the plastic covered dining room chairs.  I would eventually fall back  to sleep only to be the awakened by the feeling of my skin sticking to the plastic.

The thing that is still special to me about this Sunday morning prayer time is that on a normal day, you couldn't pay Ma Hessie to get on her knees, close to the ground. But on Sunday mornings, you would always find her on her knees in prayer. She did this ritual every Sunday morning, regardless of how she felt or if anyone joined her. I started to understand that prayer was something important...worth waking up for, worth being physically inconvenienced for, worth doing it alone.

The other initial memory of prayer was from my home church. Wednesdays was prayer meeting. Each week at 7pm. Sometimes there was only 10-12 of us, and some weeks there could be as many of 30. Mostly the older folks attended...and me and younger brother of course (cuz we were at everything). Prayer meeting has a simple format: Someone starts a song, we all sing it, someone decides to pray and goes up to the altar, everybody gets up and walks around the front of the church shaking the deacons' hands and the hands of the next pray-er. Then we all sit down and that volunteer would literally pray their heads off...and while they prayed, the rest verbally agreed. The pray-er would finish, and we would do the whole thing again. We could do this a number of times, but somehow we always got out by 8pm. It never got old. It was always strong, always loud, and always honest. Even now, I remember the feeling that God was so close...actually listening to prayers of his people.

The amazing thing about the prayer meeting was that it was never so much about whether God did what we asked. Don't get me wrong...when someone prayed for healing in their body or restoration of a relationship or whatever, we hoped and believed that God would provide. But the thing that kept you coming back to weekly prayer meeting was that it seemed that God was really listening when you sang the song, walked around shaking hands and screamed out a prayer. And that feeling, of a God who hears us, was so comforting. Everything else seemed like mere details. In fact, I don't remember any specific prayer from my prayer meeting days. But I do remember being very careful not to play around too much (as young kids in prayer meetings do) because I somehow knew that God was near and that meant something significant...even for a kid.

Years later, my thoughts on prayer have evolved. I still believe in the power of prayer and I still believe in a God who listens. But I wonder if you have to be on your knees or in a church  at all to lift up a prayer that God hears. I have found myself sitting in coffee shops and having the same feeling I had in those childhood prayer meetings...that everything I'm saying, even in the silence of my heart, is being heard. What's more, I am realizing that prayer is not just about me talking to God, and isn't just God talking to me. In fact, I have found that simply talking at God might be missing the point of this great opportunity we know of as prayer. Could prayer be a conversation, a casual chat with eternal ramifications. It is hard to believe, but I have literally had coffee with God. While I truly believe that prayer is an important topic, I wonder if it at times becomes inaccessible to those who find it all confusing. So I am asking the question to myself, through the scriptures, to some other folks I trust and to God himself...could prayer be as simple as having coffee with God?

Join me on Tuesdays at the A218 Main Gathering to hear more thoughts...